Revise the following paragraph from an email message to employees. Focus on the voice, appropriate sentence length, and word selection to make the passage effective.

With the approach of the end of this fiscal year, it has been recommended by our accountant that the monies allocated in the budget to capital equipment be used as soon as it is expedient. Therefore, as has been our practice in the past, we are requesting that each of you compile a comprehensive detailed list outlining your requests for new equipment that you may have put on the back burner, so to speak. It would be appreciated if you could provide this information to me by the first of next month so that I can begin to process all orders prior to the expiration of the fiscal year. It is anticipated that a multitude of requests will be simultaneously submitted by department heads; it is highly probable that requests for equipment will be processed in the order received and delayed requests may not be funded. I sincerely appreciate your cooperation in our efforts to upgrade some of our capital equipment.

Question

Revise the following paragraph from an email message to employees. Focus on the voice, appropriate sentence length, and word selection to make the passage effective.
​
With the approach of the end of this fiscal year, it has been recommended by our accountant that the monies allocated in the budget to capital equipment be used as soon as it is expedient. Therefore, as has been our practice in the past, we are requesting that each of you compile a comprehensive detailed list outlining your requests for new equipment that you may have put on the back burner, so to speak. It would be appreciated if you could provide this information to me by the first of next month so that I can begin to process all orders prior to the expiration of the fiscal year. It is anticipated that a multitude of requests will be simultaneously submitted by department heads; it is highly probable that requests for equipment will be processed in the order received and delayed requests may not be funded. I sincerely appreciate your cooperation in our efforts to upgrade some of our capital equipment.

Quizplus · Accepted Answer

The Answer of Revise the following paragraph from an email message to employees. Focus on the voice, appropriate sentence length, and word selection to make the passage effective.
​
With the approach of the end of this fiscal year, it has been recommended by our accountant that the monies allocated in the budget to capital equipment be used as soon as it is expedient. Therefore, as has been our practice in the past, we are requesting that each of you compile a comprehensive detailed list outlining your requests for new equipment that you may have put on the back burner, so to speak. It would be appreciated if you could provide this information to me by the first of next month so that I can begin to process all orders prior to the expiration of the fiscal year. It is anticipated that a multitude of requests will be simultaneously submitted by department heads; it is highly probable that requests for equipment will be processed in the order received and delayed requests may not be funded. I sincerely appreciate your cooperation in our efforts to upgrade some of our capital equipment.

Revise the Following Paragraph from an Email Message to Employees