Part of your role as a content writer for an engineering firm requires you to review and proofread co-workers' communications prior to being published on your corporate website. A co-worker in the marketing department wrote a few paragraphs about a new device that was going to be released soon and asked you to review it prior to it being released to the public. He wrote:
We are excited to launch the new digital wireless sensor that knows your needs before you do. This sensor measures medical data and transfers it to your medical provider at another location via telecommunication technology. Although no human testing has been done as of yet, that we know of, we know this will be a huge step for the medical community in being able to bring healthcare to patients around the country. Also, it is suppose to be pretty easy to use, we believe, because it there are only three steps to take to hook it up to your body and send the medical data to your provider. Remember the date of June 21, that is the date it is coming out.
Re-write the paragraph for clarity and with attention to a target audience of an older demographic. Next, writer a brief response to your co-worker about the changes you made and why. You can include references from Chapter 4 to support your argument and defend your decisions.

Question

Quizplus · Accepted Answer

The Answer of Part of your role as a content writer for an engineering firm requires you to review and proofread co-workers' communications prior to being published on your corporate website. A co-worker in the marketing department wrote a few paragraphs about a new device that was going to be released soon and asked you to review it prior to it being released to the public. He wrote:
We are excited to launch the new digital wireless sensor that knows your needs before you do. This sensor measures medical data and transfers it to your medical provider at another location via telecommunication technology. Although no human testing has been done as of yet, that we know of, we know this will be a huge step for the medical community in being able to bring healthcare to patients around the country. Also, it is suppose to be pretty easy to use, we believe, because it there are only three steps to take to hook it up to your body and send the medical data to your provider. Remember the date of June 21, that is the date it is coming out.
Re-write the paragraph for clarity and with attention to a target audience of an older demographic. Next, writer a brief response to your co-worker about the changes you made and why. You can include references from Chapter 4 to support your argument and defend your decisions.

Part of Your Role as a Content Writer for an Engineering