Quiz 32: Heartbreak and Home Runs the Power of First Experiences

Psychology

Our life is based on many experiences, which can be low, high or some life turning. Our first experience can be based on any of these experiences. We can divide our life in episodes based on phases of experience. We develop with each experience we have in our life. The first experience however, is considered the most powerful than later events as it leaves a never fading mark in our life than any similar later events. The reason behind the first experience being so powerful are: 1. It penetrates so deep and clearly in our psyches that doesn't go away as other memories. This is known as the primacy effect. It engages our all senses simultaneously. For example, we may not remember the fifth or tenth kiss, but we always remember our first kiss. 2. Other reason for the powerful first experience is that it has novelty, which drives up dopamine and norepinephrine, the brain system which is related to focus and attention and rewards. For example, if we are first time in love, we are not heart broken. We might have better relation than first, but there's never a relationship where we have not been hurt. The first experience marks a stamp in our mind and this experience always influence the later events in our life. People always remember their first roommate, first class, first friend. Even the older people recall the events of their lives, mostly of teenage and early 20s. The first experience, by virtue of intense emotional sensation penetrates deep in our memory. It is often termed as "flash-bulb memories."

Our life is based on many experiences, which can be low, high or some life turning. Our first experience can be based on any of these experiences. We can divide our life in episodes based on phases of experience. We develop with each experience we have in our life. Transference is effect that is related to kind of mental state where since, the first experience marks such a stamp in our mind that mind gets activated in later events. This leads to the substitution of emotions. The best example of transference could be the first relationship. The first relationship experience is considered the most powerful than later relationships as it leaves a never fading mark in our life. The reason behind the first relationship being so powerful is that it penetrates so deep and clearly in our psyches that doesn't go away as other memories. By the virtue of intense emotional sensation penetrates deep in our memory that if we meet someone who resembles a bit also with our ex, whether physically or in terms of voice, gesture, behaviour etc., it may capture the representation we have in our mind. This type of effect is transference. During the effect of transference, not just the physical qualities but feelings emotions and expectations are also rejuvenated, which blur the lens by which we can see the new relationship. According to Anderson, if we meet someone resembling our ex we still love, than we automatically get attracted towards the other person

Our life is based on many experiences, which can be low, high or some life turning. Our first experience can be based on any of these experiences. We can divide our life in episodes based on phases of experience. We develop with each experience we have in our life. The first experience, by virtue of intense emotional sensation penetrates deep in our memory. It is often termed as "flash-bulb memories." The first experience is considered the most powerful than later experiences as it leaves a never fading mark in our life. The reason behind the first experience being so powerful is that it penetrates so deep and clearly in our psyches that doesn't go away as other memories. Though the past experiences can't be changed or forgotten but it can be looked in a new light. 1. Move forward - Susan Nolen-Hoeksema suggests that one should not cling to the past. One should try hard and must move forward in life. 2. Think deeply about past - block a time from daily routine, may be ten to fifteen minutes twice daily, to think about or agonize over the past. This will saturate you at some point and after getting bored a person will definitely move on. 3. Reality check - hanging out with new friends and new experiences will definitely help a person to come out of the thought that they can never be happy again. One can always find happiness in present and future rather than sticking and crying for past. 4. Destinations and path must be differentiated - path is always different from the destinations and when we walk on path several things come and go. We should not think a person whom we meet and love or a job we get and loose as the final destination. The life is a long journey and there are many more to come. Things come and go. 5. Enjoy and live in present - the best way to get freedom from the past is to break the shackles of past by focussing on present and future. Experience new things with new people, join hobbies of choice, hang out with friends. Everyone experiences failure and heartbreak. Failure is always knocking the door, but ability to set aside the negative experience behind and move forward in life with full enthusiasm and zeal is what differentiates a world-class performer from the rest of world.

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