Quiz 19: The Angry Smile

Psychology

Children often show up passive-aggressive behaviour to parents, in situation of some unfulfilled demands. Parents either honestly fail to understand such behaviour or sometime deliberately fail to understand the child's behaviour in the quest of winning from child. But sometime this winning situation of parents temporarily, lead to a permanent defeat of their relationship with the child. The common passive-aggressive behaviour pattern in young children, parents must understand are: 1. They deny their anger verbally. For example, in such situation, the kids will say they are fine, when they are not. 2. They will comply to certain task verbally, but behaviourally they will delay the task. For example, delaying a given task for watching some show. 3. They will end a conversation by saying, "fine" or "whatever". 4. Intentionally doing half of the work or ignoring certain work. 5. When they forget or misplace important items, like a house keys or car keys. The parents must be familiar with these types of passive-aggressive behaviour of children, so that they can be able to respond to child's resentment and calm down the passive aggressive avalanche. Parents can then be able to respond in ways that can lay the ground for less conflictual and more healthy relationship with the children.

Children often show up passive-aggressive behaviour to parents, in situation of some unfulfilled demands. The common passive-aggressive behaviour pattern in young children are they deny their anger verbally, comply to certain task verbally, but behaviourally they will delay the task, shutting conversation, intentionally doing half of the work or ignoring certain work or misplacing important items. Parents either honestly fail to understand such behaviour or sometime deliberately fail to understand the child's behaviour in the quest of winning from child. Sometime parents misbehave in counter-passive aggressive ways in response to child's passive-aggressive behaviour. The counter passive-aggressive behaviour of parents leads to a permanent defeat of their relationship with the child. One such example of counter passive-aggression to express anger would be, if the child leaves a note asking mother to clean the cloth for a soccer tournament, but mother keeps the cloth soaked in the washer knowingly to teach her child a lesson of not talking or telling this thing to her directly. Because of which the child couldn't participate in the tournament. The parents must be familiar with the type of passive-aggressive behaviour of children and must be able to respond in ways that can lay the ground for less conflictual and more healthy relationship with the children rather than showing up the counter-passive aggressive behaviour.

Children often show up passive-aggressive behaviour to parents, in situation of some unfulfilled demands. Though anger is a very common and natural phenomenon, it was in earlier times associated with being bad. Its neither good nor bad. Parents must teach their children to say yes to anger, but no to the expression of anger in any aggressive or passive behaviour. This builds foundation of emotional intelligence and strong relationship throughout the life. Sometime parents misbehave in counter-passive aggressive ways in response to child's passive-aggressive behaviour. The counter passive-aggressive behaviour of parents leads to a permanent defeat of their relationship with the child. The direct emotional expression of anger is lost. If the child's passive aggressive behaviour is faced assertively, then the anger is weakened from inside. The children also learn to express anger in an emotionally honest way by following the parent's footprints. The anger must be expressed in emotionally honest ways by directly expressing it. The child must be taught to be open and direct with his or her anger. The parents in turn must also accept the anger expression of child and respect and tolerate it, to make child express anger in emotionally honest ways.

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